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JESUS IS DEAD,CONFIRMED

June 3rd, 2013 · No Comments

JESUX IS DEAD

THE SENTENCE ANNOUNCED by the roman empire is a final verdict for the alleged messiah. The roman court decided after much deliberation on the character and actions of
this vagabond who has been seen roaming the country side preaching and babbling disturbing the romans peace and the Jews oeace as well.
Rome has decided that, to quote an undisclosed source, jesux was possibly working on a revolution against the roman government while the Jews also complained to the authorities allegedly that jeusx has been preaching against the rabbis and the Jewish holy book.

The Jewish accusations against jesix were quite severe accusing him of telling the citizens to go against the traditions and rabbis. He said that it was permissible to harvest and work on the holy day as Jews call it a Sabbath.

The roman accusations were equally as severe
Some romans blamed jesux mental health problems on his circumcision 32 years earlier which as the romans call it a barbaric custom. Romans alleged that rabbi used an ancient tradition of sucking the blood of the wound which in no way compares to the roman burning Jews at the stake for being Jewish. Then the roman legislature condemned the mother for cohabitating with a roman soldier called pantera in the back seat of a government chariot, while Joseph his father was away on a business trip for a length of time. The roman ceasar said that using government property, in this case was a chariot, for personal pleasures is strictly forbidden as it was interrupting the beatings and punishing and training of the Jewish people.

Rather then embarrass the roman government any further they have decided to hang jesix on a stick along side a hundred or so other criminals. The roman business men believe that the sales of crosses and tourism and books that will follow written by the poets at the time may be a valuable venue to raise funds for a proposed building where future athletes might enter into competitive games of life and death in the nude and pit the Jews against lions which get double the entry fee to see Jews die.

All plans have been scraped due to a poor economy and decided to forget about jesux and the hundred other people. ‘Its best to just hang the sucker’ as some roman called ponchas or something.

40 years later another lonely individual named paul aka shaul was riding a donkey to Damascus eating a schwarma in pita, smoking some dope and heard god talking to him saying to write a book about someone and sell it. This donkey rider yelled out… “god spoke to me,,can ya all believe it? Holy mackerel jeshits god spoke to me’’

This donkey rider dropped his pita and his dope ,,, then he fell off the donkey into a deep sleep until the hashish wore off him.

Yes history has a funny way of working things out.
Watch for updates and edited additions.

Tags: BREAKING NEWS · Commentary & Opinion · JEWISH LOVE · Jewish World & History · Missionary attacks · World News

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