Jews With Views

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A yiddishe momma

October 31st, 2010 · 6 Comments

 

A yiddishe momma

I overheard this conversation in a store on 13 Ave Brooklyn NY.

The frum ( very religeous) hasid  gentleman wearing the usual european black clothing enters the store and I hear him ask for a bath towel . The store clerk pointed to a table full of bath towels.He examines every stitch every detail and studies the washing instruction label then the label showing the manufacturer and where it was made. He studied the towel the same way Einstien studied the universe. Each stitch each detail turning the towel over then holding the towel up to the light to see the pattern.

The store clerk asks him if he can be of any assistance. The hasidic man takes out his cell phone and fumbles with it trying to dial and the speaker goes on.

He talks in the phone and says..’mommy” is dis you?

(The wife is usually called mommy)

and she answers ” nu… so who did you tink it vould be”

The hasid answers ”mommy I find a towel blue, yes? You like blue you tell me, yes?

She answers..’yes but vhat kind of a blue tatala..

(thats an endearing way of talking to your spouse)

He says I dont know vait I ask za  man. Mistah vat blue is dis?

The clerk says its sky blue

”mommy he says its sky blue”

vus?

Mistah my vife  she  vants to know vhat is sky blue…

The clerk answers she should look up and thats sky blue’

‘Mommalah the cloik says you should look up and dots ze color blue…’

I can hear her ask on the speaker phone….

ask da cloik..is da sky blue vhere?

Mommalah vot do you mean vhere?

Tatalah…I mean  skyblue in New Yoik or skyblue in Miami or skyblue up in za mountains?  Vhere is the blue?

So the hasid proceeds to ask….mistah, vhere is za blue from?

The clerk asks where does she want the blue from?

Mommalah vhere do you want za blue from?

She says..tatalah remember vhen ve went upstate to visit my brudda?

yes mommy I rrremember..

Vell tatalah dots not za blue I vant. I vant za skyblue that vas just before ve got to me bruddah…

Remember tatalah, dots ze blue…dot  blue vas poifect…

MISTAH ! My vife vants ze same skyblue vhen ve vent to visit her bruddah in ze catskills…but not vhen ve get dere…it vas just before ve get zere..vastaysh?

the smart clerk says to tell his wife that he has it…

MOMMALAH ZA CLOIK Says he chas it  zaxactly….

VUZ MOMMY?

MISTAH CLOIK…MY VIFE IS VERY PATICULA.

SHE ASKS IS IT ZE BLUE VHEN THE SKY WAS CLOUDY OR WHEN IT WAS SUNNY.

The optimistic clerk answers it was the same blue on the sunny day.

Mommy he says its ze sunny day blue…..

I hear her tell the hasid husband

FORGET IT,  DOTS NOT ZE  BLUE I VANT…

Tags: Commentary & Opinion · Humor & useless stuff · JEWISH LOVE · Jewish World & History

6 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Ben // Nov 1, 2010 at 10:07 am

    hahahaha.
    the cashier should have said it was; “True Jew Blue”, you would have had a sale….

  • 2 Liad // Nov 6, 2010 at 11:50 am

    Should have asked him if he wants sky blue of the morning, afternoon or evening and of what hour of the day along with from what country of the world does he want this view to be part of for skys are clearner in Israel as they are in Calif. Also explain to him that the color is not just a plain color but from a “t’kelit” as used in the ancient tzitiz; therefore, the price is apox ten times the price as found in Macy’s, N.Y.

  • 3 DACON9 // Nov 7, 2010 at 6:56 am

    SORRY, I WASNT THINKING AS DEEP AS YOU…LOL

  • 4 DACON9 // Nov 8, 2010 at 7:36 am

    REFERENCE TO YOUR MOST RECENT COMMENT TO fishman. There is no hope.i have sent him emails saying as you did…so much other things to teach discuss debate. If you have things in the way you commented…I will dedicate a page for your writings and comments of things here…Feel free to write. I dont censor EXCEPT FOR VULGARITY..

  • 5 DACON9 // Nov 16, 2010 at 6:15 am

    testing testing testing

    LIAD IT IS POSTED, IT WAS POSTED, THANKS

  • 6 DACON9 // Nov 20, 2010 at 7:46 pm

    a7 didnt post my comment that the boteach thing is 2 months old and tzvi should not post anything to bring light to it as most blogs and news ignored boteach entirely. If you ztvi have any consideration to the readers you should remove this newest article of your…Ztvi read the comments from yvonne because you caused her to now mention herecy…Ztvi I always told yu to not post her in your blog…
    Liad this was the essence of what i sent in an dthey didnt post it.
    They became not the israeli national news but the xtians national news

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